proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
