I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
