That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
