Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
