Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We need to rekindle our bromance
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
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