You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
