We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
