You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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