His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
