idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
