he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
