I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
