i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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