Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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