How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
