Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
