i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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