He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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