I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
