I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
