What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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