I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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