Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
