Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
