dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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