Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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