Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How naked do you want me to be?
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