I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
