sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
