well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
