the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
