Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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