and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
