i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
