...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Randomize
