pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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