You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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