Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
