that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
