I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
