Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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