singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
