the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
