No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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