absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
