Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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