Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
can u get pink eye on your cock?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
