great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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