My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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