i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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