I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
