His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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